It's Just Not Cute Anymore
by Dude13
Summary: There comes a time when particular antics stop being adorable...such as the twenty years or so in the case of a young woman and her adopted imaginary friend. Oneshot


(**Author's Warnin****g**: _Like everything else, this takes place in my series, set up by the events in my first story "More Than My Friend" where the big event is that Frankie adopts Mac. If you haven't read that story yet, I strongly suggest you do so now, or else you might get terribly confused_.)

The winding, maze-like halls of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends reverberated loudly with a most peculiar symphony of shrill ecstatic squeaks, high-pitched giggles, and an abundance of unheeded pleas.

"…Catch me now! Catch me now! Catch me now! Catch me now!" The four-year-old trilled repetitively over and over as she scuttled about at a pace that would've made a cheetah jealous. As Frances "Frankie" Foster happily scampered along, an unusually towering imaginary friend galloped along not too far behind her and shouted endlessly as he struggled to keep up with Foster's sole resident child.

"Please, Frankie!" Wilt begged as she somehow managed to remain just out of arm's reach with her seemingly boundless energy. " Not okay! _Not_ okay!"

"Catch me now! Catch me now! Catch me now!" Frankie only happily chanted over and over as she suddenly made a sharp turn and darted into the house's expansive library, much to her pursuer's absolute dismay.

"Frankie, please!" the gangly creature cried, nearly tripping over a rug as he struggled to keep up with her. "Not okay! _Really_ not okay! Please, Frankie, not _again_! Not-"

Just like that, the epic chase ground to a screeching halt. As soon as he entered the room, Wilt couldn't seem to find so much as one trace of the little girl, who seemed to vanish completely into thin air. The second he realized he couldn't spot her hiding amongst the soaring bookcases, Wilt was temporarily paralyzed by intense pangs of panic.

"Frankie?" he cried as he frantically began to cast his gaze about the nearly empty room. "Frankie? Frankie, where are – _AUGH_!!"

He practically shrieked like an overprotective mother the instant he spotted the little girl clambering up one of the ridiculously high shelves like a squirrel darting up a tree trunk.

"Catch me now!" Frankie giggled happily, pausing her ascent only to flash the mortified imaginary friend a playful grin. "Catch me now, Wilt! Catch me now!"

"_Frankie_!" Wilt bellowed as he bolted over in a crimson blur. Alas, despite his best efforts he was no match for the four-year-old's unmatched energy reserves, and the poor creature found he was unable to do little else but make a futile grab as she managed to climb just out of his extensive reach.

"Please, Frankie!" He continued to beg shamelessly. "Please, don't! Not again!"

"Catch me now! Catch me now!" she only laughed as she scaled the massive bookshelf like a monkey with a mop of flaming red hair.

"Please, Frankie! I'm sorry, but you _know_ I don't like this game! Please!" he shouted in the sternest tone he could muster, which in all honestly wasn't all that intimidating. "Frankie, _please_ get down!"

"Down? Now?" she snickered mischievously as she finally made it to the very top, much to the imaginary friend's intense unease.

"Yes! Yes!" Wilt cried as he shuffled nervously from foot to foot. "Right now! Frankie, please, you need to get down here right this-"

"Okay!" she squeaked obediently in reply, and without further ado the child promptly launched herself into the air like a miniature skydiver.

"_FRANKIE_!" he shouted hoarsely as the giggly little redhead plummeted towards him like a stone.

"Catch me nowwwwww!" she whooped merrily as she rocketed straight downwards.

Fortunately for her, Wilt had far too much experience playing her favorite game, never by choice of course. Despite his initial shock, his arm reflexively shot out and in one deft movement he successfully snatched her right out of mid-air before she landed face-first upon the floor in what unmistakably could've been a most horrendous catastrophe.

While the haggard imaginary friend immediately consolidated his hold and tucked her securely under the crook of his arm, Frankie immediately erupted into peals of laughter.

"Again!" she cried joyously as her tiny body trembled with excitement. "Again! Again! Again!"

Wilt just shook his head and let loose with an exasperated groan. "_Not_ again."

"Aw, c'monnnnnn!" she immediately erupted into protest as he carried her out of the room. "C'mon, Wilt!"

"Why do you have to scare me like this?" he asked wearily while ignoring her pleas. "Frankie, I've told you again and again, this game is _dangerous_. One of these days you're going to get really hurt, and-"

"Nuh-uh!" she objected confidently. "No owies for me! Never in a bazillion years!"

"Yes, Frankie." Wilt sternly countered. "You will get an 'owie', and trust me, it's going to be a _big_ one too, because-"

"No big owies! No big owies!" Frankie continued to merrily refuse, further increasing his exasperation.

"Yes, yes it _will_ be a big 'owie,' a very big-"

"Nope!" she gleefully persisted. "Won't!"

"Oh yeah?" the lanky creature grumbled as they plodded down the hall.

"Yeah!" she happily affirmed with a furious nod. "'Cuz _you're_ way too good at this game!"

He attempted to scold her again, but the second he glanced over and looked at the manner she gazed up at him so adoringly with her enormous toothy grin, he found it nearly impossible to stay annoyed. Despite his best efforts to fight the urge, he couldn't help but crack a weak grin at the irrepressible little creature.

"Well…." He chuckled as he paused to place the giggly child gently atop his shoulders. "I _do_ have pretty good reflexes…"

* * *

"Hi, Wilt!" The twenty-three-year-old young woman greeted warmly as soon as she spotted the familiar gangly imaginary friend saunter into the foyer.

"Oh, hey Frankie!" he politely replied the instant he spotted her, perched high atop a lofty stepladder, battering away at some pesky cobwebs with a broom. "You need any help?"

"Nah." She answered calmly as she brushed the rest of the delicate white webbing out of existence. "No biggie, just a little bit of pest control. It's okay, I'm all set here."

"You sure?" Wilt persisted kindly as he plodded over. Frankie couldn't help but chortle a little; his undying need to assist at all times never ceased to bring a smile to her face.

"Well…" she laughed softly. "Here, could you take the broom for me?"

"Sure!" he happily obliged, taking the cleaning implement from her hands and setting it gently upon the floor. "Need anything else?"

At first she was going to politely refuse, seeing how the chore was completed. Abruptly though she paused before answering, and after carefully observing her situation for a few moments…it was suddenly right about then that she realized the golden opportunity that had been bestowed upon her to bring some excitement to an otherwise monotonous day of the usual drudgework.

"Yeah…" she finally answered as her lips began to curl into a mischievous grin. "Yeah, there _is _something else, actually…help me get down? Please?"

"No problem!" Wilt was more than eager to comply as he unfortunately failed to notice her badly stifled snigger. "So do you need me to hold the ladder, or do you want…uh…"

As soon as he spotted the unmistakable mischievous sparkle in her bright emerald eyes, he swiftly trailed off as the unpleasant realization that something was amiss quickly dawned upon him.

"…Frankie?" he murmured cautiously as she suddenly ascended a few steps higher up the ladder. "Frankie, what are you-_OH NO_!"

Smiling like a nitwit from ear to ear, Frankie simply shut her eyes, crossed her arms over her chest, and calmly allowed herself to fall backwards and fall through empty space with with a loud whoop of, "Catch me _nowwwwwww_!"

Wasting not a single moment, the ashen-faced Wilt instinctively threw out his arm and clumsily caught the caretaker before she thudded upon the tile floor.

"_OOF_!" he inadvertently grunted as he suddenly found himself supporting her full weight. Although she was no equivalent to a sack of cement, Frankie was no longer a toddler anymore either, and he couldn't help but drop to his knees under the strain of contact.

"_Frankie_!" he gasped incredulously. "What do you think you're-"

Before he could get a single word further, the playful redhead just beamed brightly and fluidly slipped from his grip with ease. In an instant, Wilt found himself completely empty-handed as Frankie, giggling hysterically like a giddy schoolgirl, shot back up the ladder.

"Catch me now, Wilt!" she chanted as she clambered up. "Catch me now!"

"Oh, for the love of..." Wilt moaned as he shot after her. "Please, Frankie! Not _again_!"

"Never!" she laughed and impudently stuck out her tongue. "Gotta catch me first!"

"Oh c'mon! Frankie, this _wasn't _okay when you were little, and it's definitely _not _okay now!" he scolded as he tried to grab her. "Cut it out! _Please_! Look, I'm sorry, but I really, really don't like it when you play around like this!"

He swiftly nabbed hold of her emerald sweater, but much to his dismay she easily shed it as she raced to the top of the ladder again.

"Catch me now! Catch me now! Catch me now!" she trilled in a goofy singsong manner. "Catch me now!"

"Frankie, please!" Wilt groaned as he tossed her jacket to the floor in skyrocketing frustration. "I thought this was clear! I'm sorry, but I'm…I'm so _sick_ of this game!"

"Nope, you love it!" she squealed as she stood precariously perched high above him. "You love it so much! Brings back memories, huh?"

"Frankie, I told you, I _don't_ like it when you do this!" he groaned. "We went over this again only last week when you were cutting down those dead tree branches in the back yard! You _can't_ keep trying to play the same game you made up when you were _three_!"

"Not when it's the bestest game in the whole entire world!" the young woman snorted with laughter. "It's a timeless classic! No one can get enough of it! Catch me now, Wilt! Catch me now! C'mon, for old time's sake! Catch me now!"

"N-n..._No_!" he begrudgingly forced out a harsh refusal after a burst of effort. "I'm sorry Frankie, I'm sorry, but _no_! I'm sorry, I can't let you keep doing this!"

"Oh yeah?" the redhead replied cheekily. "And what're _you _gonna do about it?"

"How...uh…how about…well, how about if I promise not to catch you next time? Hmm?" Wilt tried to threaten her, although the very thought of it forced the naturally compassionate soul to involuntarily wince as soon as he spoke, much to her untold glee.

"I saw that! I _saw_ that! _You_ actually letting me go splat on the floor? Pffft!" she scoffed incredulously. "_That'll_ be the day!"

"I swear!" the imaginary friend protested as he struggled in vain to sound stern and convincing. "I mean it, Frankie! If you jump again, there's no promises I'm going to catch you!"

"You so will catch me again if I fall!" Frankie persisted confidently. "You _always_ do! Like..._NOW_!"

With this she suddenly drew back a bit and hopped straight up in the air. The false start worked like a charm, and the hopelessly loyal creature immediately stuck his arm out with a wail of terror.

As soon as her hearty peals of laughter began to echo throughout the foyer, Wilt realized she had merely been toying with him and groaned loudly. "Frankie, _stop_ that! I swear, next time if you try that, there's no way I'm going to-"

"Your words say 'no, no', but your actions say 'yes, yes'." she giggled impudently. "C'mon, there's no way you're gonna let me fall-"

"Oh yeah?" the frazzled imaginary friend snapped. "Try me!"

"Oh, I will!" she whooped. "And you'll be ready to catch me before I even make the jump!"

"No!" he struggled to remain defiant, even though he unfortunately already understood she knew otherwise. " Frankie, I won't!"

"Yes, yes you will! If I jump, you're so gonna catch me!" she objected gleefully.

"No! I'm _not_ gonna do it!"

"You're _so_ gonna do it!"

"I'm _not_ gonna do it!"

"You're _so_ gonna do it!"

"I'm _not_ gonna do it!

"You're _so_ gonna do it!"

"I'm _not_ gonna do it!"

"You're _so_ gonna do it!"

"I'm _not_ gonna do it!"

"You're _so_ gonna-"

"Frankie, I won't!" the profoundly exasperated imaginary friend yelled as he spun around in a huff. "I'm sorry, but I won't!"

"Yeah-huh! Oh, you so are!" she continued incessantly and as persistently as ever. "Like clockwork!"

"No!" he struggled to persist. "You hear me? This is my final word! I'm through playing this game, and if you even think about jumping again, you can forget about a safe landing-"

"Catch me _nowwwwww_!" Frankie suddenly squealed as she abruptly flung herself off her perch without a care in the world.

True to her objections, Wilt's stern oath held up as well as a matchstick house as she called his bluff. The second she began to plummet, the imaginary friend promptly whirled back around with a panicked yelp, held out his arm-

_THUD_!

…And made an extraordinarily rare miss as Frankie practically belly-flopped right onto the floor.

For a few moments, the ashen-faced, slack-jawed imaginary friend could do little but gawk speechlessly at the horrific spectacle before him as he strove to comprehend the fact that he had accomplished the unthinkable.

"…Frankie?" he croaked hoarsely as he dropped to his knees.

The badly dazed young woman lifted her face from the floor and softly groaned,"W-Wilt?"

"Y-yeah?" he murmured as he delicately scooped her up with a winding crimson arm.

She rubbed her throbbing skull and whined piteously,"I…I don't feel like playing anymore…"

* * *

"Um…" was all Bloo could manage to grunt the moment he plodded into the kitchen and came across a rather odd spectacle. Immediately, the dumbfounded imaginary friend completely forgot about his original intent to fetch himself a soda, and just gawked curiously at the familiar pair sitting on the kitchen countertop.

"Hey, Bloo." Wilt greeted distractedly as he tended to the young woman beside him. Frankie meanwhile didn't even seem to notice the little blob's appearance, and continued to sniffle softly as she leaned heavily upon the gangly imaginary friend next to her, looking for all the world like some oversized upset toddler.

"You feeling any better?" Wilt fussed as he readjusted the large ice pack on her head.

"K-kinda…" she lied with a weak grin, just before a twinge of agony jolted her and she hastily confessed with a noticeable wince, "Well…no, actually…."

The guilt-stricken scarlet figment frowned sympathetically as he dutifully hugged her close.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" he expectantly started to apologize. "I'm sorry, I never, ever meant to-"

"Wilt?" Bloo suddenly interrupted the odd moment, tilting his head to one side in genuine puzzlement as he scooted closer.

"…Yeah?" Wilt replied politely, even though he knew exactly what was to follow.

"What the heck are you guys _doing_?" the imaginary blob demanded.

The towering crimson creature grimaced slightly in embarrassment and paused while he thought how to best answer the question."Uh….Frankie had a bit of a bad fall, see, and-"

"A _fall_?" Bloo repeated incredulously.

"…Er….yeah…" Wilt stammered. "See, we had kind of an…an accident, because I was…trying to catch her after she jumped off the-"

"Whoa, _what_?" Bloo yelped as he was swiftly befuddled beyond belief. "Wait, wait, so…hold on, was she was _trying_ to get hurt? What, was Frankie going crazy or something?"

Realizing how incredibly silly he had just sounded, Wilt sputtered as his naturally crimson tone mercifully hid most of his blush. "No, see we were just…uh….were just…playing, and-"

"Playing? Playing what? Kill the caretaker?" the blob cried as his confusion skyrocketed through the roof. "What are you talking about? _What_ do you mean?"

As Wilt paused to figure out how best to explain it, Frankie glowed bright crimson with embarrassment as she murmured ruefully under her breath, "He means I finally got a _real_ big owie…"

**The End **


End file.
